in all fairness..

Posted on November 26, 2010

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At first I am troubled to see that my blog here is slowly retracting into a cobwebbed corner of the wordpress cyberspace, whilst I am living up a whole new paradigm of change back on home soil digging for the soul of South Africa. Coming across people and processes aplenty that I would love to share with you and the world, I am motivated to come back to this blog after forgetting that this space even existed. Was I such a  fervid blogger before? What happened? To see that there are still people reading my blog (today 25 people) I am humbled, yet I feel the need to give you more for your time here.

So where can I start? Should I try play a 2-month catch-up game with a million things that happen to me per week, or should I tell you what solid ground I am standing on right now, that is rocketing up into the sky like an Atlantis-fantasy Anime? Well the latter definitely sounds more rewarding, perhaps we should work for it by digging through some recent history on the sojourns of someone not so interesting but still you’re reading this? Sorry if that’s a bit trite. I’m working on it.

So I left off in Istanbul, where I inked my arm spontaneously with an indelible “information” sign to sign off on the fact that I thought I found my identity whilst exploring my inherited mindset through an emotional connection to the City of Empires, Home of Civilizations.  At least it left me with a good feeling of being connected to the base of the Modern World.

So when I returned a second time to home soil, after the Mafia had cleaned up and shipped out their ill-gotten gains (gold mine 2.0), I was a bit more relinquished of my unstable needs and able to just plough into a new job, a new calling, a new passion, and old friends. I stubbed my toes quite a bit on the social abnorms of this here little town at the tip of Africa, Little Miss Cape Town, Canned Africa / Africa for Beginners. Actually I’m still stubbing my toes trying to find my place back in it, but quickly and surely picking up on what lies beneath the surface of clique connections and where our real intentions are commonly met. Does that make sense? Maybe I need to dig into this more at a later stage, because now it just sounds a bit hi fa luted (sic).

So yes, I returned, jumped into The Hub as business manager and host, met an awesome community of changemakers at heart, began to work with them and dream bigger projects and processes into being here, whilst managing the nitty gritty like how long should the piece of string be and where the hell do we get crushed ice at this time of day, never mind a 30ft ladder? This is pretty much my ‘dream job’, for now. Most of all I have been priveleged to meet a THRIVING organic hub of initiatives and projects, and now I want to bring them together as quick as possible, because..

Well at our LAUNCH event, a large number of self-made social changemakers boldly stood on stage and implored the hundreds of initiative-hungry guests in the audience to take a deep breath and JUST SUPPORT what they are doing. These people had just 40sec to get their message across and guess what happened? It sailed cleanly through the air into a thick blanket of inspiration that covered us all up to the neck in motivation for bottom-up empowerment and transformational local-to-global scale best practice change processes. Whew what a sentence, I never knew you could get out of breath by typing.

So we have the people, the projects, the place and the BEAUTY – what more do we need? CONFIDENCE in BEST PRACTICE changework and PARTICIPATORY LEADERSHIP. That’s my goal, my dream, my target, my true ambition and my duty. Perhaps Sir Lancelot would understand, perhaps he was a fake. Nonetheless, I am still inspired by those words at the big bunker up on the hill near Basel in Switzerland all those months ago, when I was released of a heavy burden to carry out the colonialization of youth empowerment in SA:

The New Knighthood

It rang loud and clear and still to this day I see myself jumping on a horse, riding through a forest of darkness with a firetorch to beam away the spooks and filter out the shadows from the trees. Maybe I should get off my high horse. Maybe I’m allowed to dream. Maybe you are too.

So a new friend has shared with me a good old question: what do you want to be when you grow up? Don’t answer. First let yourself go. You are not stuck in what you don’t want to do. Fantasy was not designed for the movie theaters. Magic is not some invented concept. Fire is inside you, and just like the solar panels that soak up the sun, everything you face will take something from you – so why not give it your best?

So now begin to dream, begin again and again to dream.. What if? Leave it there. WHAT if? What IF?

In all fairness, you are able to realise your dreams.

In all fairness.

So I’m dreaming, to be fair. Not to be a dragon-slayer or Harry Potter, but a happy-go-lucky driven young changemaker, bringing a leading edge into the space of business for social change in South Africa. By roaming around communities of practice and engaging in meaningful conversations and processes and offering up the best of my talents at the best of times to the best of people, and feeding back what I learn in conscious ways to those who need it, in society’s best interests.

Now and then I am not so clear on this goal, and I allow myself to dream in other directions, for security, for a car, for a positive bank balance, for a romance from the stars, for long-lasting friendships.. and then I realize.. don’t dream for yourself, and you will have everything your heart could ever desire. Einstein says “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” I’m trying to realise that.

Dream dream dream dream dre-e-e-e-eam all you have to do is dream.

Thanks for your TIME.

(This blog needs some work.)

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